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Clark Kent
Superman

Superman on a psychotic rampage.

Gender: Superman.
Hair color: Awesome.
Eye color: LAZORS
Species: Kryptonian
Home: Krypton
Earth
Death: Kryptonite poisoning
AKA: Stupidman
Likes: Learning how to fly an airplane
Dislikes: Heights
Education: Super-Genius
Occupation: Reporter
HERO
Known For: Beating Up Badguys
UnRank: 12,000,000,000,001


Superman (sometimes known as Clark Kent or Kal-El, occasionally misspelled as Stupidman) is an alien from another planet, and he is one of the most powerful beings in the world.

Kal-El was born on a planet known as Krypton. He was raised by his green parents. But then, some jerk decided to blow up Krypton. Kal-El was one of the one hundred babies sent by rocket to avoid this tragic fate.

The rocket was set for a collision course with Mars. Kal-El said "SEE YOU LATER LOSERS!" and jumped out the rocket window. The other Kryptonian babies just shrugged and landed the rocket on Mars. Kal-El flew into Earth, but was not harmed, because he was the chosen one.

Some old people found him, and named him Clark. He grew up to be a hero called Stupidma... er... Superman. He is now a god who can do whatever he wants. His only weakness is Kryptonite. Taxes was one of his weaknesses, but he beat up the tax collectors.

Superman hates Lex Luthor more than anyone else, but only because he is jealous of Lex. Lex is jealous of Superman. They both hate each other. That is why they are always shooting Energy Blasts at each other.

Superman died when he was shot by a kryptonite bullet by Lex Luthor, about five minutes ago. Wait... the bullet was plastic! Superman is getting up! Now he's... is Lex's face supposed to look like that? I don't think faces are supposed to look like that.

Powers

  • Superhuman strength
  • Superhuman speed
  • Superhuman hearing
  • Superhuman stupidity
  • The ability to jump over tall buildings in "a single bound"
  • Heat vision
  • Superhuman breathing (yeah, he can breathe good)
  • Superhuman stamina
  • The ability to be faster than a locomotive
  • The ability to rip a locomotive to tiny little pieces
  • The ability to be an arrogant little @!%!&@@&*!@#%
  • Falling With Style
  • The ability to be totally unstoppable by any force in the entire universe*
  • The ability to be almost as cool as Batman
  • The ability to be beaten by Batman.
  • The ability to make tights look good on a dude (not really)
*With the exception of a pathetic little rock.
Superman

his emlem

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