This picture always seems to be on Kitteneegee Cable.

Kitteneegee Cable (formerly Squadala Cable) is a television service that used to be provided by Squadala Man, but is now provided by Kitteneegee. It provides cable for Hyrule, Africa, the Middle East, and the Weegee Empire. It is known for its heavy bias towards Weegee and his allies.

Squadala Cable was created after the citizens of the Squadala Empire complained that they didn't get any television out there. Squadala Man responded by summoning his greatest technical agents, politicians, and spies. They created Squadala Cable, a television broadcasting system specifically made for the Squadala Empire.

Not many people liked Squadala Cable, but guys with Magnums "took care of" everyone who complained. Their only competitor is Billy Mays Satellite.


There are four main government channels:

  • Kitteneegee Channel - A channel where all of the shows are about Fakegees
  • Kitteneegee News - A channel that tells things as if Weegee, Kitteneegee, Malleo, etc. are the greatest people in the UnOmniverse
  • Kitteneegee Kids - A channel for brainwashing children
  • Kitteneegee Military History - A channel about the Weegee Army and how awesome it is

There are also some other channels provided by other companies:

  • LBC
  • LBC News 24
  • Billy Mays 24/7
  • Obey Weegee 24/7
  • LBC Kids
  • Mahzii Propaganda 24/7


Every channel and stuff runs through the Kitteneegee Cable Cable that goes from the headquarters in Squadala City to every house and apartment. Sometimes people like to be evil, especially in The Middle East, and cut the cable and lotsa people lose their TV. Squadala Man took care of this by setting up lotsa guards with magnums around the cable.


Kitteneegee Cable costs 0 UnDollars every month. Before the Weegee Army took over, it was 100 Squadollars (1 Squadollar = 1 UnDollar).


Back in the Squadala Empire days, everyone who owned a TV in the Squadala Empire was required to pay 50 Squadollars every month to Squadala Cable to keep it running, even if they didn't watch Squadala Cable. Some people thought this was stupid, but they were thrown into jail.

Nowadays, Kitteneegee Cable is funded by a counterfeiting operation that produces fake Hyrulian Rupee, Bowser Buck, and Ducky Dollar banknotes to destroy the economy of Weegee's enemy countries.