Sqadala Man

This picture always seems to be on Squadala Cable.

Squadala Cable is a television service provided by Squadala Man. It provides for the Squadala Empire and surrounding areas. It is known for its heavy bias towards the Squadala Empire.

Squadala Cable was created after the citizens of the Squadala Empire complained that they didn't get any television out there. Squadala Man responded by summoning his greatest technical agents, politicians, and spies. They created Squadala Cable, a television broadcasting system specifically made for the Squadala Empire.

Not many people liked Squadala Cable, but guys with Magnums "took care of" everyone who complained. Their only competitor is Billy Mays Satellite.


There are four main government channels:

  • Squadala Channel - A channel where all of the shows are about Squadala Man
  • Squadala News - A channel that tells things as if Squadala Man is the greatest person in the world
  • Squadala Kids - A channel for brainwashing children
  • Squadala Animals - A channel about Squadala Man's dog and how awesome it is

There are also some other channels provided by other companies:


Every channel and stuff runs through the Sqadala Cable Cable that goes from the headquarters in Squadala City to ever house and apartment. Sometimes people like to be evil, especially in The North, and cut the cable and lotsa people lose their TV. Squadala Man took care of this by setting up lotsa guards with magnums around ever Squadala Cable Cable.


Squadala Cable costs 100 Squadollars every month. 1 Squadollar = 1 UnDollar. Some people think it is overprised, but  Squadala Man has never thought about lowering it.


Everyone who owns a TV in the Squadala Empire is required to pay 50 Squadollars every month to Squadala Cable to keep it running, even if they don't watch Squadala Cable. Some people thought this was stupid, but they were thrown into jail.

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