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Scratch

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Cquote1 HA HA-HA HA! Cquote2
Scratch
Scratch and Grounder

Scratch and Grounder.

Scratch (not to be confused with the scratch cat, as that would be insulting) is the leader of S.S.S.S.S.S. and a minion of Dr. Robotnik. He is a robot and he looks like a tall rooster. He has a sub-brother named Grounder.

Scratch was created in 1942 by Robotnik Sr., and locked in a storage unit for several decades. After Robotnik Sr. went senile, Dr. Robotnik discovered Scratch, and started barking orders. Scratch scratched him, and agreed.

Scratch was commanded to destroy Sonic at least 4,000 times, but he always fails. However, he is epic anyway, but only in a funny way (of creating lulz).

One day he stole one Promotion with Grounder and gave it to himself.

History

Dr.Robotnik hates that hedgehog Sonic, so he built a robot chicken named Scratch to do everything for him. After many failures, he was sent into an arena to fight Dr. Wily and his robots. Being a major idiotus stupidenchus, he and Grounder were kiled by Sheep Man. Yep. Stupid ass muthafuckin' Sheep Man, a herding robot that dies to a rubber baseball. A new name was given to him, Idiotus Stupidhenchus M, which means idiotic stupid henchman in mole latin. Scratch was then murdered by the Colonel himself so that Yoshi could buy a meal and turn into a chicken himself. Scratch has 6.22 x 10^23 stupid cells and a speck of pterodactyl DNA, so that's why people that eat KFC become Chickadactyls.

200X years after Yoshi ate Scratch, the founder of the Hungry Gays, Father Cornelius Hohenheim Snow Winry, or Snow, fused the DNA of Scratch and Grounder to make Mockingjays that would lure out the resident jerkass alchemist Katniss Everdeen into using Philosopher's Stones for the root of all evil, Bully Bill. Bully Bill, a homunculus descendant of the equally infamous homunculus Alma Coin, decided to take revenge and release a video that serves no purpose but to turn people into homunculi so that Robotnik, the creator of Scratch and Grounder, would have Robotnikland. Robotnik, encased in carbonite, was revived by Bully Bill, but he used this opportunity to kill him and revert the Mockingjays into Scratches and Grounders. The world has run amock with homunculi, dumbfounded robot chickens and moles and is trapped in a giant carnival of death, and with a PROMOTION, Robotnik built walls around Las Vegas, or Las PINGAS. They didn't last long because Sonic was being an arrogant deus ex machina, so he defeated Robotnik and ended the days of a megalomaniac society called Panem. And this all started when Scratch hit puberty. No seriously. This was the true Patient 0 that sparked a shameful series of books and long, uber-realistic cartoons that speak out to old, politically inclined Hollywood staff. In the end either way, Scratch was made the Patient 0 by many factors. He was viewed as nothing but an experiment to an ignorant society that saw animals and robots as nothing more but tools of fun wars. Therefore, they thought robot animals/animal robots, which are totally different things, are mega tools of mega fun wars. He is now indirectly one of the most evil dudes out there. But it is debatable because Bowser made games that would eventually lead to Earth's destruction, such as Avengeleon, Squidward On Strike, and Combat Stripper: 50 Shades of Red. Who knew people were THAT evil? BA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA! That's what Robotnik wanted! He wanted humans to realize what animals they've become, but we ignored the warnings, however idiotic they may seem, and subsequently, we get the crapsack world of Panem.

But then again, was everybody except those from Sonic a homunculus? If you don't know, those are evil sentient Play-Doh blobs created when you soak them in water for a minute or more and let them dry over time. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT MIX PLAY DOH WITH WATER AND LEAVE IT OUT THERE! Each Play Doh blob exists in the same varieties as the Angels in Squidward in Strike, such as Ninjas, Pirates, Normals, Magical Girls, and Bigs. The main guardians of Snow are his children. They are Johanna (Lust), Effie (Pride), Tom Hanks (Sloth), Buffy (Wrath), Peeta (Greed), Koopa Troopa (Envy), and Ronald McDonald (Gluttony). Koopa Troopa and Johanna are the deadliest and most sadistic ones. Effie is undyingly loyal to Snow and even stabbed herself to ensure his plan would succeed. Ronald McDonald can suck in infinite matter, explaining why he's so hungry all the time. Peeta cares about what he steals from his past bitch, who is an alchemist. Tom Hanks squishes people and tortures them with his impersonations of Buzz Lightyear. Buffy KILLS ALL IN HIS WAY. YOU WILL DIE. But they are all pawns to the Master Homunculus, Bully Bill. Taking the form of an eviler Bullet Bill by day, then he's a giant weresquid with penis tentacles at night.


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