Hey! Old Popeye ain't afraid of nothin'! Popeye, A Dream Walking
Popeye the Sailor Man is a highly awesome sailor who likes eating that foul tasting Leafy green stuff called Spinach. He likes beating up dwarf planets so he can be with his Olive Oil. No, Olive Oil isn’t a person, silly. It’s just a moldy old tub of Olive Oil that Popeye likes to keep. Being old gives you some crazy stuff man…
Biography[]
Childhood[]
Popeye was born like any other child (except with really big triceps of course he’s just always had them). Back then, when he was just 3 months old the great depression was in full effect and it had a great toll on his family, as it was too expensive to buy anything let alone baby food, the thing babies need in order to live. And so, he had to go out into the forests and eat wild game and mushrooms in order to survive. His diet of game consisted both of old crappy Nintendo shames, as well as of mice and men, sometimes also rabbits and fungus. Before long, the monkeys of the jungle baby-napped him and forced him to eat Spinach as cruel and unusual punishment. This instead made Popeye much stronger than they were expecting, and the baby Popeye obliterated the Monkees with one punch each. Afterward, Popeye’s mom decided to cultivate and grow the food for Popeye, so he could have something to eat. Therefore, his downward spiral of spinach addiction began. Popeye is much more powerful in a short period after consuming Spinach, theorists say he is about as powerful as Super Sailor Moon or Super Strong Giant Person in this temporary state.
The Coal Mines[]
After graduating from school Popeye got a coal scholarship for no other reason than to get black lung and DIE. The death part didn’t work as Popeye was always too strong to die and is still alive today, but while he was young he worked inside of a mountain, in the coal mines, getting his coal education inside the mountain. In just under an hour of seconds of getting the job, he had already caused the mountain to collapse in on itself, and became responsible for the deaths of 650 other starving workers. Since the coal was worth more than the people, his employers just gave Popeye his colleagues’ collective salaries of 13 cents per hour to him, and let Popeye hack his way through all the mountains of the world, where he has accumulated 250,000 hours doing nothing but use his steel pickax to chip away the old blocks.
He retired in 2014 after all the coal was gone with just under a million dollars in his bank account and a ruined 100 billion UnDollar industry.
First Encounter with Olive Oil & Pluto[]
Since Popeye didn’t have much to do after he retired, he decided to buy a can of Olive Oil as his girlfriend. It just so happens that the newly discovered planet Pluto was shopping there too, and that can of Olive Oil was the last one on the shelf! Pluto was reasonably mad and decided to steal the tub of Oil from Popeye. When an unstoppable force met an immovable object Popeye of course, ate some spinach and beat him up. This began his and the dwarf planet’s rivalry that would last for what seems like to be an eternity. Pluto still has no Olive Oil to cook with, despite the fact that the store he was at just now restocked on Olive Oil today.
Personality[]
Popeye is like your grandpa, not that in he’s 98 years old, but he’s stern, but loves ya, and will tell you the [[5 Strange Tricks to Lose 7 Pounds in 7 Seconds]] and it just works.
Trivia[]
- He has the best Chicken.
- It beats Applebee's little bit of chicken fried.
- Popeye’s was named after him.