The Old Ones have the power to make children magically disappear. They have caused 171,893,798.685,349,677,688,699,509 child disappearances. Don't be too curious and ask us what type of magic they use. If you do, we will kill a kitten. Slowly and painfully.
The names of the Old Ones were unknown for centuries. Centuries and centuries. But our master detectives have revealed that they are named Tinky, Dip, Laa, and PoPo. The Teletubbies' names are actually derivatives of the Old Ones' names. This is because the Mother Teletubby is dumb.
Nobody knows how the Old Ones were spawned. Legend has it that they were formed deep in the Teletubby Land Acid Lake before Teletubby Land was even founded, and migrated out of the lake one winter when it froze over. That's when they founded Teletubby Land. Although, this theory cannot be proven, as winters have to be especially cold in order to get the lake to freeze over.
They made several films, but some were lost due to being, well, old.
Fully Surviving Films
- PoPo's Hurt
- Concentration Camp Tour (Found when the Teletubbies were messing around with the control panels in the tower, they ended up typing a secret code that revealed this.)
- Eating Babies
- An Invention (found in Tubby Tower and saved by Po right before the Teletubby Land Massacre which destroyed the tower)
- Goose Hunt
Partially Lost Films
- Tinky's Arrest (found but the original closed captioning was lost)
- The Airplane (4 minutes of it is stored in Alt 2.0's data)
- Survival (last 10 seconds lost due to the quality of the VHS tape it is on)
- Guns (Only an image was found, featuring PoPo shooting Tinky)
- Dip's Game (no closed captioning)
- Swearing (the audio mutes sometimes)
- This Is What Hell Looks Like (2 hours cut from 10 hour runtime)
- Laa's Ball (no audio)
- Tinky's Adventure (reconstructed using spectrogram and damaged vhs. 10 seconds missing from middle. Fortunately, it’s just Tinky drinking Tubby Custard)
- Catted (original audio lost, spectrogram used to reconstruct the audio)
Fully Lost Films
- Ugly Monkeys
- Sacrifice For The Dark Lord Bob Saget
- (The rest are unknown)
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