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The Old Ones.

An Old One

An Old One.

The Old Ones are the orginal Teletubbies and founding fathers of the Teletubby Army. They are also the stuff of nightmares. Stephen King and Chuck Norris have encountered them but have luckily survived. The Old Ones aren't your average Teletubbies. They have nightmarish abilities that can not be truly described.

The Old Ones have the power to make children magically disappear. They have caused 171,893,798.685,349,677,688,699,509 child disappearances. Don't be too curious and ask us what type of magic they use. If you do, we will kill a kitten. Slowly and painfully.

The names of the Old Ones were unknown for centuries. Centuries and centuries. But our master detectives have revealed that they are named Tinky, Dip, Laa, and PoPo. The Teletubbies' names are actually derivatives of the Old Ones' names. This is because the Mother Teletubby is dumb.

History

Nobody knows how the Old Ones were spawned. Legend has it that they were formed deep in the Teletubby Land Acid Lake before Teletubby Land was even founded, and migrated out of the lake one winter when it froze over. That's when they founded Teletubby Land. Although, this theory cannot be proven, as winters have to be especially cold in order to get the lake to freeze over.

Films

They made several films, but some were lost due to being, well, old.

Fully Surviving Films

  • PoPo's Hurt
  • Concentration Camp Tour
  • Eating Babies
  • An Invention (found in Tubby Tower and saved by Po right before the Teletubby Land Massacre which destroyed the tower)

Partially Lost Films

  • Tinky's Adventure (found but there's no sound)
  • The Airplane (4 minutes of it is stored in Alt 2.0's data)
  • Survival (last 10 seconds lost due to the quality of the VHS tape it is on)
  • Guns
  • Dip's Game
  • Swearing
  • This Is What Hell Looks Like (2 hours cut from 10 hour runtime)

Fully Lost Films

  • Laa's Ball
  • Ugly Monkeys
  • Tinky's Arrest
  • Sacrifice For The Dark Lord Chin Chin
  • (The rest are unknown)
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