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Nintendo

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Nintendo is a WANTED article!

This means it is among the best UnAnything has to offer! It has been WANTED as of November 2013! Treat it with respect! Go here to see all WANTED articles.

Nintendo Logo

The Nintendo logo!

Nintendo is a large corporation that makes shames, which some people like so much they will buy them for several times what they are actually worth. Nintendo is currently the most successful shame making company to date.

History

Nintendo was created by Chuck Norris in 1999999 BC when he kicked an abandoned toothpick factory. It instantly turned into an awesome shame making factory. Some guy named Mr. Nintendo bought this factory, and the jerk named it after himself instead of Chuck Norris.

Since Mr. Nintendo died 24 hours after he was born, he hired a random wizard named Shigeru Miyamoto who used his magic tricks to sell more shames. Miyamoto was with Nintendo for a very very very very long time, but it was eventually decided Nintendo neede more employees after he made the Nintendo UnEntertainment System and the Virtual Boy. So they hired some random guy. The random guy was kicked out shortly afterwards, and replaced by Satoru Iwata.

Nintendo was a great success after they released a bunch of shames. They earned more Money in one week than you've earned in your life. They sold more shames gott even richer.

As a company, Nintendo managed to outsell every shaming company ever, even themselves. Being created only a year after human arrived on Earth, Nintendo has survived for millions of years. Nintendo is like a cockroach, or a zombie. Even if you want it dead, it just won't die.

They released shames about Mario, Donkey Kong, and Zelda. These shames were their most successful that they've ever made. Now that's all they make, and they have since gone downhill. Probably because Satoru Iwata doesn't know what he's doing.

They're still better than SEGA, Microsoft, Sony, and Namco though.

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Just another average day at Nintendo headquarters

Timeline of Nintendo

  • 1999999 BC - Chuck Norris kicks a toothpick factory. Mr. Nintendo buys it, and makes shames with Shigeru Miyamoto. Nintendo Entertainment System is released.
  • 4 BC - Nintendo is sued, just because.
  • 1500 - Game Boi is released. This helps set off the Hyrulian Civil War. This sets the precedent of Nintendo causing problems for people everywhere it goes.
  • 1774 - Super Nintendo Entertainment System is released.
  • 1936 - Nintendo UnEntertainment System is released. Nintendo sales plummet.
  • 1942 - Virtual Boy is released. People hate Nintendo so much, even Zelda plots how to kill them.
  • 1943 - Shigeru Miyamoto is removed from Nintendo. Some random guy is hired. Random guy is then fired, and Satoru Iwata is hired.
  • 1964 - Nintendo 64 is released.
  • 1980 - Mario joins Nintendo. Oh joy...
  • 2001 - Nintendo Shamecube and Nintendo DS are both released. Cardboard and stupid shame industries both skyrocket.
  • 2002 - SpongeBob Squarepants sues Nintendo, they try and fail to assassinate him.
  • 2005 - Nintendo Wii is completed. An Xbox 360 destroys them.
  • 2006 - Nintendo DS Lite is released. Nintendo DSi is released three seconds later.
  • 2007 - Thanks to the stupid court system, it takes forever for SpongeBob's lawsuit to take place, but he finally wins, and gets $10.
  • 2010 - Nintendo 3DS is released.
  • 2011 - Nintendo Wii is recreated, and released. Nintendo Kinect is released.
  • 2012 - Nintendo Wii U is released.
  • 2016 - Game Boi 2.0 is released. Hilarity ensues.
  • 2017 - Nintendo makes us all want to vomit with its newest merchandising plot.
  • 2200 - Time machine is used to send Mario shames back in time, allowing older consoles to use them.
  • 4000 - The world ends, and Nintendo played a hand in it. It is still operational.
  • 7 Years After the Apocalypse - Nintendo shuts down. THANK YOU!

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