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Bikini Bottom

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Bikini bottom is great

The Scenic Town Of Bikini Bottom

Bikini Bottom also known as Taylor Gang Country (formerly known as Garbage World and before that Crap County and Sexy Bikini Town in Japan) is the main setting in SpongeBob SquarePants. The city has a proper population of about OVER 9000, but the entire metro area (including Crap Fields) has a population of One. The city consists of various businesses, including restaurants, stores, adult entertainment, pawn shops, and manufacturers. The city has a stable economy, a horrible education system, questionable health care, flimsy labor laws, an unstructured government, and a corrupt law enforcement system.

Location

Bikini Bottom is located at the bottom of the sea, and if you do not know that, you are an idiot. In the center of Bikini Bottom, the citizens are forced into slavery and are forced to live in large, gray buildings made of metal. There are some other forms of buildings, mostly depressing crap shacks. Further out from the town citizens need to use whatever is available and struggle everyday to survive.

Architecture

Crime bottom

Most houses are condemned due to safety hazards and/or crimes committed in the house.

There buildings are very bland and have no artistic skills. Like none, there just giant bent up pipes from sewage outlets.

Inhabitants

Most of the people who live in Bikini Bottom are crazy nut jobs. It is home to some of the weirdest people ever to walk this planet. There is a demented man named Tom who is addicted to chocolate. There is an old lady who looks like a dead snake who remembers when chocolate was invented. There is a greedy bastard named Mr. Krabs, who charges ridiculousness prices for his mediocre food. And Darwin Watterson who is literally a freaking, fish with legs!

What more can you say?

Establishments

There are no reliable establishments in Bikini Bottom, other than a few pawn shops and gun stores.

Residential Evil

Bikini Bottom has many houses. Many of them contain zombies, hell hounds, and giant spiders. All of the main characters wish they had enough money to own one. There is also a residential community called Testicle Acres, where only Octopi can reside.

Health

Image f death

Bikini Bottom's Hospital was built by the Umbrella Corporation. This what it looks like on a typical day.

Bikini Bottom has its own health department and several hospitals open for its residents who deal with mental instability. Since the city has a large obesity problem, suicide booth sizes have been doubled

Cuisine

They eat fish food and the gay fish eat fish sticks.

Entertainment

  • Adult Dancers
  • Adult Films
  • Firing Ranges

Exercise

  • None, everyone in the town is fat.

Environment

Bikini Bottom is the most ghetto underwater city in existence. Even more ghetto than the Underwater City Of Atlanta.

Wildlife

Bikini Bottom has a certain range of wildlife such as Marajuana plants. These plants, when smoked, make the smoker incredibly annoying. This is most likely the reason Spongebob acts the way he does.

Animals

In Bikini Bottom, animals are treated with much neglect. Dog fighting can be found in almost every dark alley.

Politics

Government

Bikini Bottom's government, although uncertain, is set up just as it would be in any corrupt country. In comparison to American cities, Bikini Bottom appears to lean more liberal.

Law

There aren't that many laws in Bikini Bottom, but despite them there are hundreds of criminals. A good amount of them are dumb, which contributes to the number of law breakers.

Crime

Bikini Bottom has large crime rates because of the heavy presence of maniacs, psychopaths, and over working bosses, along with the Sponge Gang. Gang violence, Drug Dealers, grand theft and murder are in every possible street.

Education

The President of Bikini Bottom once said that "education is useless!" Following this statement, they tore down all of the schools and no one has learned anything since then. And anybody who tries to teach education or learn is sentenced to the millions of underground concentration camps.

Health

The well-being of an average Bikini Bottomite is not good at all. They all suffer from either mental instability, drug addiction, depression, or dementia.

However, there are no nuthouses as anarchy fish burned them down.

Culture

The culture of the city is horrid, at best. The only art is graffiti and Squidward Tentacles.
180px-TheWords2

Bikini Bottom's ever lasting president, Darwin Watterson.

Climate

It's as hot as hell in Bikini Bottom.

Disasters

Bikini Bottom has been destroyed at least ten times. SpongeBob has been responsible for two disasters: the pie bomb and crossing the beams.

Media

Bikini Bottom has no reliable sources of media, only MSNBC.

Timeline

  • 2128 BC.- Patrick Star time travels and has to take a crap and craps out the first Krappy Patty.
  • 1593 BC.- Bikini Bottom begins construction.
  • 1482 BC.- Mr. Krabs manifests out of dark matter.
  • 1128 BC.- 465.2323124th anniversary of Bikini Bottom.
  • 1043 BC.- The Mystical Calzone Alliance enslaves Bikini Bottom.
  • 674 BC.- Patrick establishes the Mash Potato Gang to stop the Mystical Calzones.
  • 432 BC.- The Mystical Calzone Alliance gets asploded11!!
  • 1102 AD.- Darwin Watterson becomes president.
  • 1696 AD.- The Krusty Krab is established.
  • 1789 AD.- The Chum Bucket is established.
  • 2453 AD.- The ugly barnacle goes on a murderous rampage.
  • 2501 AD.- Everyone died. The end.
  • 2747 AD. - The Place gets rebuild as a much more stable place.
  • 2791 AD. - Shortly after the peace area Anarchy Fish took over and ruled.
  • 2803 AD. - Darwin fakes his death and moves to San Andreas.
  • 2962 AD. - Bikini Bottom's second and final war beigins.
  • 3017 AD. - The war ends and the town is finally nuked due to popular demand. Few escaped.

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